The Satan Delusion

Even when I was a devout believer, the notion of the devil bothered me.What possible purpose does he serve other than to scare children? While it makes sense (to a religious mind, at least) that in the struggle of good vs. evil each side should have an anthropomorphic manifestation, it really doesn’t seem as though Satan was given much of a job. I suppose that hell might be set up in such a way as to require management, but even then, if he’s really working for himself and not for God, why would he punish those who get sent to live with him in hell?Wouldn’t he then be doing the will of God?Whose side is Satan on, anyway?If Satan really wants to screw with God and his plan, making hell more fun than heaven would be the ultimate undermining.If heaven is being forced to worship God all day every day for eternity, and hell is an endless party, I’d call Satan the winner.

Now, I think that many Christians and other people of faith actually have less stereotypical, caricatured ideas about what heaven and hell are.Mormons, for example, have a more nuanced concept of what goes on in heaven (progression to godhood, creation of one’s own worlds and dominions) and hell (it’s not bad because Satan is poking you in the ass with his pitchfork, it’s bad because you realize that you’ll never be able to become a god and create worlds and have a million wives).

Still, what is Satan’s role in all this?It used to be that he possessed people, but then we learned about germ theory and mental illness.He still had his job of tempting people to have sex and assault their enemies, but then we learned about evolution and natural selection.So what does Lucifer actually do?Does he have any responsibility?Does anyone actually think that anti-social urges come from Satan, or is this one of the many ideas that rides the coattails of God straight into the logic-proof compartment of the mind?

It seems to me that as vacuous as the arguments for God are, defending the existence of Satan is even more difficult, and, importantly, the nonexistence of the devil is just as devastating to Christian doctrine as is the nonexistence of God.